Feedback Thoughts
Hello guys!
Lets talk about feedback and how to prepare yourself for it!
Feedback is something I have definitely struggled with my whole life. I have ALWAYS taken it way too personal. While some of the time this has benefited me*.
Obviously, putting yourself in a situation to receive feedback and practicing receiving helps you improve, but sometimes we don't know what to practice. Mythology and Folklore really helped me figure this out. People will critique your stories and writings, tell you you spelled that one word wrong for the 100000 time, or tell you there is another comma splice (there are probably a lot in here, but I feel like in a post its a tiny bit more acceptable.....right haha?)....and it is okay....it is actually great! It is an opportunity for you to grow.
Anyways, how should we receive feedback and GROW from it in character and skill?
For one, you need to start in a good head space. If you already think you suck, hearing about how you can improve a plot in a story probably won't help. If a day has gone sour for you, take some time and take care of yourself mentally before receiving feedback. Feedback is a place of growth, not a line of fire. Some strategies to move on and prepare yourself for feedback I found in two articles, one being Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head (link here). I think the article is awesome. It is all about the process of moving from negativity into your productive self! The second article is Why Rejection Hurts So Much (link here). This one really explains how to rebuild self esteem. Below I will put key points from both!
Lets talk about feedback and how to prepare yourself for it!
Wise Cat from Growth Mindset and Feedback Cats
Feedback is something I have definitely struggled with my whole life. I have ALWAYS taken it way too personal. While some of the time this has benefited me*.
*Like how I refuse to procrastinate now....All because one time my mom had to help me finish my 6th grade history project (I started it the night before)... and I told the teacher because I felt guilty and got counted off ...........Most of the time, feedback has had pretty negative impacts on my life because I get so caught up and stressed about what I can improve on.
Obviously, putting yourself in a situation to receive feedback and practicing receiving helps you improve, but sometimes we don't know what to practice. Mythology and Folklore really helped me figure this out. People will critique your stories and writings, tell you you spelled that one word wrong for the 100000 time, or tell you there is another comma splice (there are probably a lot in here, but I feel like in a post its a tiny bit more acceptable.....right haha?)....and it is okay....it is actually great! It is an opportunity for you to grow.
Anyways, how should we receive feedback and GROW from it in character and skill?
For one, you need to start in a good head space. If you already think you suck, hearing about how you can improve a plot in a story probably won't help. If a day has gone sour for you, take some time and take care of yourself mentally before receiving feedback. Feedback is a place of growth, not a line of fire. Some strategies to move on and prepare yourself for feedback I found in two articles, one being Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head (link here). I think the article is awesome. It is all about the process of moving from negativity into your productive self! The second article is Why Rejection Hurts So Much (link here). This one really explains how to rebuild self esteem. Below I will put key points from both!
Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head
- Look for the positives! I thought this step was interesting because it mentioned the Gallop/Clifton Strengths Finder (which is super cool if you haven't done it before). With OU Spirit I have completed this (my strengths are Restorative, Positivity, Achiever, Adaptability, and Harmony). For me I will need to find these strengths in my everyday work and feed off of them.
- Hear the positivity (not just the negativity) so you know what to repeat! This is also good to note for other people as we give feedback. Feedback doesn't have to focus on the negative. If you love something about someone's work....let them know! Also, ask questions about positive comments. Dig into what a person liked so you can remember that and focus on it.
- Channel the positive voices, choose to listen to them, and believe what they have to say! The article says shoot for a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative voices. One good step may be to physically write these down when you receive feedback.
Why Rejection Hurts So Much
- Review and learn from what you did wrong, but DON'T chastise yourself. It is so important to learn from and appreciate feedback. Exhausting yourself with criticism is not worth it.
- Regain your self confidence! Focus on rebuilding confidence to reduce negative emotions. I loved this idea: "Make a list of five qualities you have that are important or meaningful — things that make you a good relationship prospect (e.g., you are supportive or emotionally available), a good friend (e.g., you are loyal or a good listener), or a good employee (e.g., you are responsible or have a strong work ethic). Then choose one of them and write a quick paragraph or two (write, don’t just do it in your head) about why the quality matters to others, and how you would express it in the relevant situation".
- Be a social butterfly. If you can't see one person, see someone else. If your date cancels, call your mom. Don't let rejection ruin your day and define your worth.
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